The Work of Changing Your Thoughts

Most of us move through life thinking the way we have always thought. We react the way we have always reacted. We speak to ourselves the way we have always spoken. We assume this is ‘just who we are.’ But, what I have learned in the last 2 years is that neuroscience tells a very different story. Your brain is NOT fixed. You are NOT stuck. The way you think, feel and respond is NOT permanent.

Your brain is constantly changing itself.

Researchers in the field of neuroscience used to believe that your brain developed to a certain age, only to weaken throughout adulthood. But now, neuroscience tells a much different story.

Current research points to the fact that your brain is constantly reshaping itself - forming new connections, strengthening new pathways and weakening old ones. This ability is called neuroplasticity. It is one of the most hopeful truths we have about human growth and development. BUT rewiring does not happen automatically. It happens through awareness, intention and practice.

Neural pathways are like roads we travel. Think of your brain like a landscape filled with routes - some wide, well-used highways and some narrow, barely visible trails. The thoughts you have repeated for years. The ways you have always coped with stress. The patterns you slip into automatically. Those are the highways. They fire quickly because your brain prefers efficiency. It will always choose the easiest, most familiar path - especially when you are tired, stressed, overwhelmed, or dysregulated.

This is why change feels hard. It is not because you are incapable. It is because your brain is conserving energy by taking the old, worn down road.

To create new pathways, we first need to understand the ones we already travel. This is where metacognition comes in - the ability that we have to observe our own thoughts with curiosity instead of judgement.

Questions like: “How do I usually respond when I am stressed?”, “What story do I tell myself when something goes wrong?”, “What tone does my inner voice use?”, “Do I speak to myself with compassion or criticism?”

Awareness is always the first step. You cannot change what you cannot see.

Once we pause long enough to notice our patterns, we begin to understand that many of our thoughts are not TRUTH, but simply practice. They are pathways that our brain has walked over and over again. And that means they can be changed.

And this is what I teach my clients because it is crucial to attaining your goals:
You cannot think differently when your nervous system is dysregulated.

When your body is overwhelmed, anxious, or exhausted, all of your energy goes toward survival - not growth. In this state, your brain cannot access curiosity, flexibility, or new perspectives. So, before we can rewire anything, we have to ground ourselves.

We find connection.
We find our breath.
We find rest.

Breathwork, prayer, mindfulness, stillness - all of these help create a baseline of calm and safety so the brain can open to possibilities. In calm, the nervous system softens. In calm, your prefrontal cortex - the part of your brain responsible for problem solving, compassion and new thinking - turns back on. Calm is the doorway to change.

In short, this is the path to neuroplasticity:

1. Attention - You bring focus to what is happening inside you. The breath, the body, the thoughts, the patterns.

2. Awareness - You recognize the old pathways - without shame. You see the self-talk that dims your spirit.

3. Adaptation - You slowly begin to practice new responses.

This is where new neural pathways begin to form. This is where discomfort shows up, because change requires energy. This is where compassion is essential.

So many people give up at the first sign of difficulty, telling themselves:

“I knew that I would fail”
“Nothing ever works for me.”
“I am too weak”
“This is just the way that I am.”

But these are thoughts - not our character. Your character is who you aim to be and what you value. Your brain is reverting to its most familiar path and is getting in the way!

Let’s start to see these thoughts not as truth, but as OLD wiring. Instead of judgement, offer yourself compassion. What if you believed - really believed - that you are capable of more?

Belief is the beginning of neuroplasticity!
The brain cannot build what you don’t believe is possible.

Neuroplasticity is not magic. It is practice. It is presence. It is choosing daily who you want to be, and living that out as best you can. Some days you will feel strong, clear and capable. Other days, you will feel pulled back into old patterns. Both are part of the process.

Growth happens in spirals, not straight lines. Every time you return to awareness and choose a kinder thought, every time you soften the breath and pause instead of react, you are reshaping neural pathways that build resilience, and honor the work of becoming.

Begin by grounding your body so your mind can open. Nourish your nervous system so change feels possible. Create space for rest so you can heal and grow.

It can all begin with a single, gentle breath. This is the work of a lifetime.
You are capable. I believe it.
I hope you do too.