Managing Myself in the Mess: Real Talk on Stress and Fatigue

Let’s be honest: the phrase “manage your stress” should come with a warning label for vagueness. It’s like being told to “just relax” when your kitchen is on fire. If you’ve ever felt more irritated than helped by that advice, you’re not alone.

I’ve come to think of it less as managing stress, and more as managing myself in the stress. Because stress isn’t a tidy, predictable houseguest. Sometimes it storms in loudly and wrecks the place, and other times it just sits quietly in the corner for months, slowly eating your snacks and sapping your energy.

And wow, can it drain your energy.

Stress takes a real toll—mentally, emotionally, and physically. It messes with your appetite (hello, skipped meals or impulsive cookie raids), keeps you tossing and turning at night, and turns your brain into static. That “I need three naps to survive this day” feeling? Often courtesy of an overworked nervous system trying to run on fumes.

But here’s the good news: while we can’t always control what life throws at us, we can work on how we show up in the chaos. This isn’t about becoming some kind of zen goddess overnight. It’s about one simple habit at a time, one tiny pivot in how we breathe, rest, and recharge.

This post is as much for me as it is for you—a little reminder to myself of the simple things that help when I’m feeling like a pile of Jell-O with a to-do list. We’ll touch on what might be zapping your energy—from restless sleep, hormone hiccups, and shallow breathing to unrelenting stress, poor nutrition, and the surprising power of morning sunlight and a good belly laugh.

Let's start with sleep. We love to treat it like a luxury, but it’s a biological non-negotiable. If you’re scraping by on five hours, start by adding just 30 minutes a week until you’re closer to 8–10 hours in a 24-hour period. Yes, you read that right—10 hours isn’t excessive; it might actually be what your body needs, especially during stressful or hormonally intense seasons. And if nighttime sleep is rough, 20-minute power naps or quiet NSDR (non-sleep deep rest) breaks can do wonders.

Another trick I love? Changing your physical environment when your mental state gets stuck or you are feeling fatigued. Go outside. Breathe in while you look up at the sky. Walk to your mailbox like Richard Simmons is cheering you on in sequins and sweatbands. (Hey, whatever gets you moving.) Shifting your body can shift your thoughts too.

And please don’t underestimate the power of ridiculous dancing in your kitchen or swinging a pickleball paddle like you’re competing in the Olympics. Movement—especially the fun, non-performative kind—removes stress from your body like magic. You don’t need a gym membership to let your shoulders drop back into their rightful place.

And let’s talk about something often overlooked: how we breathe. Most of us are out here panting like stressed squirrels without realizing it. Shallow chest breathing keeps our nervous system stuck in fight-or-flight mode, even in our sleep. That’s right—your breathing pattern might be hijacking your rest and your energy.

Enter: coherent breathwork. Sounds fancy, but it’s really just slow, steady breathing—inhale gently for 3 seconds, exhale for 6. Let your breath move down toward your belly. Feel your ribs expand. No heroic deep breaths here—just enough to fill your lungs halfway and remind your body it’s safe. Try it for five minutes, twice a day. You might feel a little air hunger at first, but stick with it. That discomfort is just your system recalibrating. Eventually, you’ll feel calmer, sleep better, and have more energy to tackle your to-do list without wanting to cry halfway through.

Now if stress and breathing aren’t enough culprits, let’s talk hormones. You don’t have to be a biochemist to realize that your energy levels are deeply affected by your inner hormonal soup. Three key players worth mentioning? Cortisol, estrogen, and leptin.

Cortisol is like your internal alarm clock and emergency manager. Too much or too little, and you’ll feel like a slug in a fog. Balanced cortisol helps you wake up, manage stress, and stabilize blood sugar. Support it with real food—think B vitamins, omega-3s, magnesium—and cut back on the caffeine! (I know - this one is hard)

Estrogen doesn’t just play a role in your cycle. Estrogen also supports multiple systems in the body—from sleep and mood to bone health, weight and energy regulation. It helps regulate serotonin and melatonin—aka the stuff that keeps you from sobbing through a sleepless night. When it’s low, your sleep, energy, and mood can all take a hit. You can balance estrogen with breathwork, movement, and whole foods—not eats that come in a crinkly wrapper.

And then there’s leptin, the sneaky hormone you’ve probably never heard of but absolutely need. It helps regulate energy and actually helps to keep your airways open during sleep. Low leptin? Hello, snoring, poor rest, and brain fog. To keep leptin levels healthy, aim for a combo of movement, balanced meals, and steady blood sugar.

Speaking of which—your nutrition matters. If your dinner was beige and came from a drive-thru, your mitochondria are probably weeping. We need colorful, fiber-rich, protein-packed food to produce the neurotransmitters that help us feel alive and focused. And hydration? It's not just about glowing skin. It’s about giving your brain the water it needs to make thoughts, decisions, and, you know…deal with life.

And then there’s sleep—again. Because yes, it’s that important. Good sleep hygiene isn’t just about turning off Netflix (though, please do that). It’s about syncing your internal clock. Morning sunlight helps. So does eating meals at regular times, moving your body during the day, and not guzzling coffee at 4 PM like it’s a magic potion (it’s not—it’s sabotage).

It's about creating a rhythm. A bedtime. A little breathwork routine. And if you’re a napper, keep it short and sweet - before 3pm, and no longer than 30 minutes.

I know this might sound like a lot—but remember, the goal isn’t perfection. It’s presence. It’s learning how to respond to your body with curiosity instead of frustration. It’s asking questions when your energy dips instead of blaming yourself. And it’s remembering that no one really has it all together—we’re just trying our best to show up, breathe deeply, and get through the day without completely losing it.

You don’t need to “fix” yourself. You’re not broken. You just need some support, some habits that serve you, and maybe a few more naps.

You’re doing better than you think.